Okay, so I’ve been seeing these “alcoholic fruit cakes” all over the internet, and I finally decided to give it a shot. I mean, fruitcake? Already kind of “meh.” But boozy fruitcake? That had potential. I grabbed a pen and paper, and started jotting down what I was gonna do.
Getting Started
First, I needed a game plan, a recipe of course. Most of what I saw online looked way too complicated. I wanted something simple, something I could actually pull off without messing up my whole kitchen.
- Find a basic recipe: Something not too fussy.
- Gather ingredients: I am not made out of money, get the cheapest stuff.
- Booze selection: This is the fun part, right?
The Baking Process
I found a recipe that looked doable. It was basically a regular fruitcake recipe, but you soaked the fruit in alcohol first. Sounded easy enough, right? Well, mixing everything was fine. Then, I chopped up a bunch of dried fruit – cherries, apricots, some weird orange things. I am pretty sure it was more than the recipe called for, whatever.
I got a big bowl, tossed the fruit in, and then poured in a whole bunch of rum. Like, a LOT of rum. The recipe said to let it soak for a few hours, but I kind of forgot about it and it ended up soaking overnight. No harm done, I guess.
Next day, I mixed the soaked fruit into the batter. The whole kitchen smelled like a pirate ship. Poured it into a loaf pan, stuck it in the oven, and waited. And waited. Fruitcake takes forever to bake, it seems!
The Waiting Game (and More Booze)
While the cake was baking, I had a brilliant idea (maybe the rum fumes were getting to me): more booze! Some recipes said to brush the cake with more alcohol after it comes out of the oven. I was all in on that plan.
When the cake was finally done, I took it out and let it cool a bit. Then I took a pastry brush and went to town with some brandy. Soaked that sucker good. I even poked some holes in it with a fork to let the brandy really get in there. I maybe made too many holes, it looks like a bug got to it.
The Final Result
Honestly, it looked a little…rough. Not exactly Instagram-worthy, you know? But the smell? Amazing. Like Christmas on a pirate ship, which is a vibe I can get behind.
I let it cool completely, wrapped it up tight, and then…I waited. Everyone says fruitcake is better after it sits for a while, letting the flavors meld. I’m not sure if I can last a couple of weeks like others online.
I’ll update you guys when I finally cut into it. Wish me luck (and maybe send more brandy)!
