Well, let me tell ya ’bout this here Jane Parker fruit cake. I ain’t no fancy writer or nothin’, just tellin’ it like it is.

What is this Jane Parker Fruit Cake Anyways?
Folks say it’s a real old-timey cake, been around forever it seems. They call it “classic” and “light,” but I reckon it’s still a fruitcake, you know? Heard tell it’s got a whole lotta fruit in it, more fruit than cake, they say. Like, two thirds fruit or somethin’. Apples and raisins and all that stuff. And nuts too, gotta have nuts.
- Apples
- Raisins
- Nuts
- And a bunch of other stuff, I guess
Now, I ain’t sure who this Jane Parker was, but seems like she knew her way around a kitchen. Or maybe somebody just named the cake after her, who knows? These city folks, they do things different.
The Story Goes…
So, the story I heard is that there was these two brothers, Chris and Alex somethin’-or-other, and they saved this here Jane Parker name and all her recipes. Seems like folks were missin’ them fruit cakes somethin’ fierce, so these brothers started bakin’ ’em again. And wouldn’t you know it, people went crazy for ’em! Guess they like that old-fashioned stuff.

It’s a tradition, they say. Like eatin’ turkey on Thanksgiving or somethin’. I reckon folks get used to havin’ that fruit cake around durin’ the holidays. Me? I’d rather have a piece of pie, but to each their own, I always say.
Fruitcake: More Than Just a Cake, I Guess
Now, I heard some folks callin’ each other “fruitcakes.” Not in a nice way, mind you. Seems like they mean somebody’s a little bit… off. You know, not quite right in the head. Kinda like callin’ someone “nutty.” Guess it’s ’cause fruitcakes got all them nuts and fruits in ’em, all mixed up. But I ain’t here to judge, no sir.
Fruitcake’s Been Around a Long Time
And get this, they say even them old Roman soldiers ate somethin’ like fruitcake. Not exactly the same, mind you, but close enough. They’d carry around this barley and pomegranate and nut mixture to keep ’em goin’. Guess it gave ’em energy to fight and whatnot. Who knew, right? Fruitcake, the food of warriors!

Back to Jane Parker
So, this Jane Parker cake, it’s supposed to be somethin’ special. They say it’s light, but I bet it’s still heavy as a brick, all that fruit and nuts and stuff. And it probably lasts forever, just like them other fruitcakes. You could probably keep it in the pantry for years and it’d still be good. Not that I’d want to eat a year-old cake, mind you.
My Thoughts on Fruitcake
I ain’t no expert on fruitcake, but I reckon it’s one of them things you either love or hate. There ain’t no in-between. Some folks can’t get enough of it, and some folks wouldn’t touch it with a ten-foot pole. Me? I’m kinda in the middle. I’ll eat a piece if it’s offered, but I ain’t gonna go out of my way to buy one. But hey, if you like it, you like it. That’s all that matters.
Where to Get It?

Now, where you find this Jane Parker cake, I ain’t rightly sure. Guess you gotta look around. Maybe in them fancy grocery stores, or maybe online. These days, you can buy just about anythin’ on that there internet. But be warned, it might cost you a pretty penny. Them fancy cakes ain’t cheap, you know.
So there you have it. That’s about all I know ’bout this Jane Parker fruit cake. It’s old, it’s got lots of fruit, and some folks love it. Take it or leave it, that’s what I say.
Tags: [Jane Parker, fruitcake, classic, light, traditional, recipe, Chris Ronacher, Alex Ronacher, holiday, dessert, Roman, history]